That’s Not An Earthquake.

I thought I was done ranting about Hostels. Last night the party outside my door died down around 11 when an employee took everybody down the block to an “after-hours” bar. I got to sleep around 1. At 2, I woke to a shaking bed. I’ve been in bed for big earthquakes and it’s kindof fun. I looked around and realized I wasn’t having fun – the drunken Aussie chick on the top bunk sure was though. I coughed and moved around hoping they’d stop. The jackhammering just sped up – to an almost superhuman frequency. A shirt, bra and thong landed on my head. I shined my cell phone flashlight on them and told them to get lost. They sat there until I handed back her shirt and then slinked off. When I laid back down, her puffy black padded strapless bra was on my pillow. When I left at 5 in the morning, I made sure to tape it up in a place where she could find it. I recognized a couple Swedish girls from the hostel on my bus to Honduras. When I told them about being rudely awakened from above, they reported the same thing happening in their dorm. I’m too old for hostels.

Hostels are like camp. You get to be whoever you want to be. There’s nobody telling you what to do or where to go. Don’t fit in back home? Volunteer at one of these places, start wearing bandanas, stop wearing shoes and fuck like rabbits in bunk beds.

SO, tonight I’m in a nice little B&B in San Pedro Sula. It doesn’t seem like the most dangerous city in the world but I have seen a lot of gates and shotguns and security guards. Tomorrow, I figure I have five choices. Vote below for your favorite and when I check around 9:30am, I’ll see where it is I’ll be going!


1. Forget what the Drunken Aussie told you, head to Utila and learn to dive. This option takes a chunk out of the time I have left (14 days) and there’s a chance the reports might be correct about sand flies and scarce wildlife. There’s also a chance it might be amazing. It’s the cheapest place to get PADI certified, they advertise swimming with whale sharks – AND – the Swedish ladies are heading there tomorrow. 4 hour bus ride, then 2 hour ferry.

2. Skip Utila and head down to the D&D Brewery. HERE is their full list of things to do… Seems like fun hiking, caves, waterfalls, good food and good beer. I’m not sure how to get here – I know it’s back the way I just came… Probably 2-3 hours.


. Copan – Near the Guatemalan border, this town has some of the best preserved Mayan artifacts and ruins in all of Central America. It looks pretty cool and it’s on the way to Guatemala. This place looks great – and I might even learn something.

4. Stick around San Pedro Sula and see what there is to see… It’s about on par with Tacoma, Washington (minus all that Tacomaculture) – BUT there’s gotta be something to do…

5. Skip Honduras – Head to Guatemala. Guatemala has the most sites I’d like to visit – I wouldn’t be upset about skipping the rest of Honduras.


4 responses to “That’s Not An Earthquake.

  1. Oh come on, we just got the pingback out here at D&D Brewery from your blog. How is there even a debate about your choosing the jungle brewery?

    Pale Ale on me just for writing this.

    Owner, D&D Brewery

  2. I have done all of the things on your list while living in Honduras in the summer of 2011. Go to the D&D Brewery. Order a burger and fries covered in cheese and bacon. Then let Bobby hook you up. The man knows how to set you up with a great day of hiking and going behind the waterfall.

    • Justin – Thanks for the note. You don’t know this but I am definitely the kind of guy who will travel for hours to get a bacon cheeseburger in the middle of the jungle. Do you have any other tips for Guatemala or Belize? I’d love to hear about your favorite places. Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s